There was a day when i desperately to have conversation with him, when i just watched a short video that remind me about him. I texted him with the video link and ask about his condition. But what all i get is just a very short answer without any warm feeling. It is hurt. It's hurt me so much. After that day i am not look for him anymore. When we bumped to each other, i am not even look at his face or give smiley eyes like i do before.
When think about it again, and when i think about person that i want to be; adorable person with full of love. I should not be like that. Start from there, i still not look for him but when we meet at lab or anywhere in our school, i give him smile. I treat him like i treat strangers. I always talk to random strangers by the way.
I do not want to force him to accept me. Maybe not give him attention make he think why. And maybe he not get any hint.
They always tell me that he is not person who really care about another people. But i say not. He isn't. He just act like know nothing. I guest he notice my 'absence'.
Still, i have nothing to hold to. We not in love or have mutual trust about our future. You not include me in your life plan, so do I. All i can do just pray and hope you will finish your study quickly. So that you can get what you want in your life. Maybe not me. But it is okay. You are my friend. And for sure i hope for the best for my friend.